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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the comfort zone of your Daily, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and milestones, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to discover that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs at his home. Consider the situation about the Tykes follower who interpreted the restroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat by Fleetwood. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And everyone remembers when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, the controversial forward entered a community college to use the facilities during 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then came in and was asking directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled through the school acting like the owner.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday marks 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach following a short conversation within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the historic stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a distant gaze, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies tried desperately to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Just a single choice remained. The toilet cubicles. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history occurred in the ancient loos of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Consequently, Keegan quit, later admitting that he had found his period as Three Lions boss “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It’s a very difficult job.” English football has come a long way over the past twenty-five years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We scarcely made eye contact, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Quiet and watchful” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|